Now and then

I had to go in that T51 yesterday. It as not very crowded. The few advantages of taking the T51 from TCS RTSC was that many people would get down at Sozhinganallur . If you know the route enough you would try to stay at the end of the bus, mostly the men at the last long seat would get down fast. That last long seat is a women’s seat, a decision from MTC that had  triggered many a debate.
Until recently I used to travel by office bus. A shuttle, it is also called. Supposed to be the best means of transport around for people like me. Get in at 8.30, around an hour later you are walking towards home. Not crowded at all, by T51 standards. At least no one standing.
That’s what I thought.
The T51 ride gave me surprises. Proved me wrong.

Here everyone is a stranger to almost everyone else. But they still pick up a talk. Argument. Fight. Whatever. But they try to socialize. Age no bar, salary no bar. All are citizens of one world here. Even those workers from the north talk to the others in what they think is Tamil and get reply in what the others think is Hindi.The ex-serviceman is filled with pride that he can talk Hindi. Even those who don’t know Hindi know that his Hindi is broken. But they respect him. Out of their heart. They would not talk ill about him when he is out of sight.
There almost everyone talks ill of everyone else once out of sight. There is this man who shares the same language as mine, who smiles when I see him, but never smiles on his own. He is in a better position than I am, so he always has this thought that I might make use of him.

I am treated with respect there. So much of this so called respect that I feel alien. I feel scared, that something is seriously wrong.
Here the conductor treats me as one of the lot. Shouts at me to “go in” sometimes. I am the same as everyone there, equal. That gives me confidence, even a sense of safety. You could easily pick up a conversation with the conductor and make friends, or enemies, with him.

Here everyone talks out of their heart. Comfortable. Even when the only person whom you know is the one you are talking to, and the rest fifteen around you are possibly listening to what you say. Everyone is a stranger, but everyone is talking their heart out.They talk about their family problems, their sons or daughter’s education, the upcoming expenses, the college boys about girls and vice versa, and this secret affair coupe on their next meeting spot.
There everyone knew everyone else, an environment that is supposed to cultivate confidence and friendship. But everyone talked in hushed voices. So cautious the person next to you should not understand you. You kept your hand to the phone, you changed your language. When they talked of salaries they made sure that they told a number that is grossly irrelevant. Like “If I get Rs 1000 a month then I have to pay Rs 25 in taxes”. You conveyed the meaning without conveying anyhing. You were abstract. You saw everyone with suspicion.

Here there is this lady from the housekeeping firm telling to someone near her, whom she was talking to for the first time, that she got an increment of Rs 500.

Then and Now.